Thursday, January 1

This is the Big-Time: The Simulated National Championship Game

Blame the shitty-ass Penn State / USC game (did someone want to tell the zombies that there's a game tonight?), but here we are. It's time for the final game - Florida vs. Oklahoma. James is taking Florida and Russ is taking Oklahoma.

Oklahoma wins the toss and elects to defer.

1st Quarter

Brandon James whips a huge return out to the Florida 44. Florida opens up with Tebow Left for a one-yard gain before a huge gain on a pass to, mystery fullback. His next pass is swatted down before a completion to someone we're not going to tell (he's actually injured; we fixed that mistake right after the completion). 3rd and 5 results in an incompletion, so we're up for a field goal attempt .... that sails juuuust right!

Bradford and crew take over at their 29. First play is an iso to DeMarco Murray (5 yard gain) - second play's to Murray as well, but this one's a 16-yard completion instead of a handoff. First attempted pass is an outright sack, and the next iso play goes for nothing. That means - you better believe it - Bradford's gotta throw it deep. He chucks it .... and it's tipped and intercepted by Brandon Spikes! Spikes takes it back ....30 ....20 ....10 ....touchdown! XP is good - we're at a weird 7-0 Gators.

Murray returns it to the Sooner 36. Bradford sweeps it out to the left, looking to run - and the ball is stripped! Florida takes over on OU's 38.

Tebow way right for 4 yards. Tebow option right to Louis Murphy for 5 yards. Tebow option right - again - but this time it's stuck for a one-yard loss. Florida's going for it on 4th and 2 from the Sooner 30; Tebow launches a 28-yard pass to Deonte Thompson! Next play is Tebow left for the typical Tebow left result from two yards out: Florida TD. We're at 13-0 after a missed XP.

Kickoff is out of the back of the end zone. Bradford gets a little bit comfortable with a 6-yard completion on a crossing route to Jermaine Greshman before hitting Adron Tennell for a huge gain after the completion. Of course, if you're Sam Bradford, screen passes are for pansies - the screen to Murray goes nowhere. Got to air that shit out - and air it out he does! 19-yard completion to Murray, and nobody can stop Murray on the next play from scrimmage. We're at 13-7 Gators and we're not even out of the first quarter. Yikes.

2nd Quarter

Brandon James returns the kickoff to the Florida 34. After an extended scramble, Louis Murphy comes back for a quick little 5-yard dumpoff completion. Of course, that scramble had nothing on the 6-second scramble that Tebow goes through on 2nd and 5 before hitting another completion for 1st down to Aron Hernandez. Jet sweep to Harvin goes nowhere; 2nd and 11 from the OU 49. Option right to Harvin goes somewhere in a hurry - the kid blows for 14 yards in something like 0.8 seconds. Another extended scramble ends up in Harvin's hands for a first down at the OU 24. Um, make that 1st and 15 after Florida can't get their shit together. Okay, I'm gonna make "extended scramble" a macro now - this time we've got a 5-yard completion for 2nd and 10. Bailout pass to Emmanuel Moody means we're in 3rd and 6. Aron Hernandez comes through in the clutch again for the Gators - he juuuuuuuust got past the first-down marker, and now we're at the 14. Tebow option fail! 2nd and 14 from the 18. Another pass to mystery fullback (who the fuck IS this guy? #40 - I can't find him on the rosters anywhere) means we're iin 3rd and 10. Dropped pass by Moody means we're up for a FG ... and that's missed! Still 13-7; Sooners take over on the 20.

Murray runs it for 6. Adron Tennel picks up another "big" gain - this time about 20 yards. Of course, that's not big for Bradford, but still. Murray for another 4 yards (pitch right). So apparently Tennel's gonna be a big-time guy; we have another completion to him for a 1st down at the Florida 43. Random dumpoff pass to the Gresham for a yard. Murray picks up another 12-yard gain for a first down before giving a yard of that back on a bad run. Murray makes up for it again! That's a huge 31-yard reception for a TD ... and Oklahoma hits the XP for a 14-13 lead!

We're at just under a minute to go before the half - James returns it to the 37. Incomplete pass and a bailed run means that we're probably going into the half at 14-13. However, Tebow hits Murphy for a decent gain, but we're still at the OU 42 with 5 seconds to go. HUGE pass to Harvin is completed! 1 second to go at the OU 6, and we're gonna attempt another FG ... and it doesn't go through.

3rd Quarter

Murray breaks a pretty solid return and they're up to the OU 48. Murray doesn't go anywhere really on 1st down - 2 yard gain. HUGE sack on Bradford results in a 13-yard loss. Huge pass to Gresham ...broken up! OU has to punt - it's 1st and 10 for Florida from their 24.

HOLY SHIT! Nevermind. That's a pick-six for Oklahoma ...Desmond Johnson, I believe.

After a nice face mask penalty (not really nice), it's 1st and 10 at the Florida 44 for the Gators. Option left goes for a couple of yards - Tebow kept. Huge attempted pass to Harvin goes for naught on a breakup. Tebow hits Moody on a crossing route for a first down at the OU 42. After an incompletion, Tebow passes it to Harvin for a quick little 6-yard gain before option right turns into option left and they have to punt.... or not! They're going for it on 4th and 8 from the OU 41. The attempted pass goes nowhere - matter of fact, it results in a sack and it's OU ball on the Gator 45.

Um, make that 2nd and 14 from the Gator 49 after Murray goes nowhere and a half. Bradford throws on the run - right to Wondy Pierre-Louis, who shockingly doesn't start celebrating in the middle of the play and runs it back for 6! The ensuing two-point conversion resembles a dead duck and let's just say it's still 21-19 Sooners.

OU returns it to their 36. Deep crossing route over the middle is broken up by one of the Gator LBs. Murray can't go anywhere on 3rd down - is the momentum starting to swing? A 12-yard sack by Bradford would indicate that's the case. After the punt, it's 1st and 10 Gators from their 33.

Another Tebow INT! This isn't returned for a TD, though - it's just at the Gator 19. Murray picks up 7 yards on 1st down, 3 yards on 2nd (1st and goal now from the 8), 3 yards on 1st again, 0 yards on 2nd, 4 yards on 3rd, and NO yards on 4th and goal! Florida holds and we're going to the 4th quarter - 21-19.

4th Quarter

First play goes to Brandon James and goes for a couple of yards. Option right to Moody goes for 23 yards! Option left (Tebow keeps) goes for a yard - oh boy. Incompletion is made up for and a half by a pass to a wide-open (I mean WIDE open) Moody. 1st and 10 from the OU 46. Make that 2nd and 10 (pass batted down). Louis Murphy jumps way the hell up to catch a dart from Tebow - now we're at 3rd and 1. Tebow option keeper means we're at 1st and 10 from the 30. Option out to Moody goes for 9. Harvin takes it on an option and gets a 1st down (fucker is FAST in this game - I think he's a 110 speed) and we're at 1st and 10 from the OU 16. Tebow is DAMN lucky that pass didn't get picked! He's not as lucky the 2nd time around, though. This one's picked by Desmond Johnson.

OU's kind of dicked around on their first couple of plays - now we're at 3rd and 11 from their 14. Bradford throws a fucking BULLET - that's incomplete. We've got another punt - that James retuns to the 35.

Tebow with a behind-the-back option to James for a 2-yard gain. HUGE pass to Louis Murphy and we're at 1st and goal from the 5 (okay, 2nd and goal; first down didn't do shit). Tebow option for a TD! And yes, that was Tebow going left. XP is good! 26-21.

Kickoff return for Murray ...back to the 25. Outlet pass to Gresham gets fucking NAILED - 2nd and 7. Murray gets stuck too - 3rd and 10, and at this point Oklahoma has pretty much two plays here. Incompletion on 3rd and 10 means we're headed for a critical 4th down conversion ...which OU makes on a pass to Iglesias! A second pass to him goes for a 1st down. Next pass goes to game MVP Brandon Spikes - INT! Florida's probably got this.

Harvin option gets something like 30 yards - whatever. It's all academic at this point. Or maybe not - intercepted in the end zone!

FIIGD by Bradford - incomplete. x2. x3 (into 5 guys). Florida wins, 26-21!