First off, now that summer's hit (and classes haven't), expect more than just two updates a week. I'm going to try and do two weeks of daily updates - we'll see how well that goes. As of now, I've written the updates for most of this week; again, one of the things I do is write updates by hand first (partially so it lets me arrange my thoughts, partially because I don't have a laptop and one of my jobs gives me a TON of downtime, so I can do things like that).
So this format is kind of obvious, I think; we're going by division and team, highlighting the injured and ineffective players on each team. Note that we're talking about the egregiously ineffective players - the 25th man, etc., don't really count. Not too much. ;)
NL EAST
Atlanta Braves
INJURED: Kelly Johnson, Kyle Davies
Johnson is just now beginning his rehab assignment in the low minors. Look for him to return to the majors in a couple of weeks - an early June target date seems likely. As for Davies, he just went on the 15-day DL (even though the depth chart says 60-day DL; we're going with the "out 6 weeks" option). Look for an early July return date.
Other notable injuries include Horacio Ramirez (still out with a hamstring pull) and Mike Hampton (still out for the year).
INEFFECTIVE: Jorge Sosa
Thanks to injuries and general ineptitude, Jorse Sosa has backed into the third spot in the rotation. He's responded beautifully with a 1-5 record and 5.55 ERA. Way to support the team, Jorge.
Florida Marlins
INJURED: Jeremy Hermida, Sergio Mitre
Hermida should be back any day now; heck, he should've been back this weekend. However, that's not the case, obviously, as he's still hanging out on the DL. It'll help the offense if he actually performs up to potential - and not the .250 he had put up before getting injured. Mitre strained his shoulder in his last start, landing him on the DL. The Marlins need his arm back in the rotation as soon as possible.
INEFFECTIVE: the whole damn bullpen
Seriously - if you've blown 4 leads in 5 days, that's not a good sign. Especially when your team is going to struggle to win already. Getting Carlos Martinez and Franklyn German back should help marginally.
New York Mets
INJURED: Victor Zambrano, Brian Bannister
Shhhh - don't mention the K-guy around Mets fans right now. Zambrano's out for the year. Bannister should be back soon - again, the Mets have almost been forced to bust out Lima Tima this year (have once already), so getting a dependable arm at the back end of the rotation is their highest priority right now. They've adopted the "throw shit against the wall" strategy back there right now.
INEFFECTIVE: Cliff Floyd
Floyd has yet to either 1) get hot or 2) get injured. That sort of streakiness won't last.
Philadelphia Phillies
INJURED: Mike Lieberthal, Aaron Rowand
Lieberthal's been down for a couple of weeks; he was eligible to be activated from the DL as of yesterday, but don't expect him back for another week at least. As for Rowand, he met the wall the hard way about 10 days ago. That'll probably be another couple of weeks.
INEFFECTIVE: Ryan Madson, Gavin Floyd
Well, if it isn't pitching injuries, it's shitty pitching, right? Floyd has been the better of the two, checking in with a skinny 5.71 ERA. Madson? 6.95 ERA. At least he's in the bullpen now, making room for Hot Shit Du Jour Cole Hamels. More on him later on this week!
Washington Nationals
INJURED: most of the pitching staff, Brian Schneider, and a partridge in a pear tree
It's always a good sign when 4/5 of your potential rotation is on the DL, right? Not to mention your starting catcher. Guzman? Eh. He can stay.
INEFFECTIVE: Livan Hernandez, Felix Rodriguez, Joey Eischen
...and your other starter is throwing BP. Plus two of your guys in the 'pen are walking gascans. No wonder this team sucks.
NL CENTRAL
Chicago Cubs
INJURED: Derrek Lee, Mark Prior
Pour a 40 out for Kerry Wood - he's healthy! Won't last. Prior should be ready to go soon, and should go back to the DL shortly afterward. As for Lee, well, he was the Cubs' offensive lynchpin. I actually feel bad for them because of him being on the DL. Really. Look for Wade Miller to be back late in the year, by the way.
INEFFECTIVE: Juan Pierre and a couple of "no shit" guys
Pierre should turn it around; I wouldn't expect a .235 average to last, as that's way below his historical average and - quite frankly - he's too good for that. As for Rusch and Neifi!, uh ... yeah, no shit, guys.
Cincinnati Reds
INJURED: Ken Griffey, Jr., Austin Kearns
lol j/k
Cody Ross actually is injured, but he's the Reds' third catcher. Whatever.
INEFFECTIVE: Nobody?
I mean, David Weathers hasn't been great, but Coffey has, so damage minimalized. No wonder they've done well so far this year - helps when your pitching is good. Minus Eric Milton, of course. He's permanently on the ineffective list.
Houston Astros
INJURED: Chris Burke, Brandon Backe
Burke should be back quite soon, which gives the Astros ample opportunity to not play him. (Sorry, bitter.) Backe hasn't had much of an opportunity to perform so far this year; he went down with an UCL injury and probably has a couple of weeks minimum before he can return. Don't expect him 'til mid-June, I'd say.
INEFFECTIVE: Jason Lane
Preston Wilson (.247) comes close, but he's streaky. Jason Lane, however, is currently rocking a .209 average. Bonus! Dig those 9 HR, though - plus 3 doubles and 17 singles. In 139 AB. At least he's slugging .424, and his ISO (isolated power) is high as hell.
Milwaukee Brewers
INJURED: J. J. Hardy, Ben Sheets (duh), Tomo Ohka
Hardy is a recent addition to the disabled list; he wasn't doing great (.242) before he got injured, so maybe 3-4 weeks recovery will help. Ohka has been on the DL for a while, which hopefully for the Brewers means a return soon. As for Sheets, hell, who knows? He's approaching Prior/Wood DL territory between this year and last. Sucks, too.
INEFFECTIVE: Doug Davis
Not helping the Brewers' case is the guy who evidently thinks home is second (39 BB, 36 K). Feel the excitement!
Pittsburgh Pirates
INJURED: Sean Casey, Joe Randa
Now, if you're any other team with no shot, injured vets mean let the kids play. If you're the Pirates, that means Craig Wilson and Freddy Sanchez. Oops. At least Wilson has been rocking it - so he'll be back on the bench as soon as Casey returns. Viva la future! (disclaimer: have never taken French) Oh yeah - Kip Wells, too. Whoohoo.
INEFFECTIVE: Oliver Perez, Zach Duke
Or if you're the Pirates, you also call these guys your 1-2 punch. Uh.... uh-oh. Okay, so Duke hasn't been that bad. It's funnier if I include him, though - if it's just Ollie Pee, then he feels all singled out, and I don't want to make anyone feel bad here. (WARNING WARNING: ERA approaching Limian stage - 6.98 for Oliver Perez)
St. Louis Cardinals
INJURED: Sir Meatball
One would argue this is a good thing, as it lets young gun Anthony Reyes get some major league experience. I, however, will make the requisite "strained esophagus" joke and let it lie. He'll be back in a few weeks.
INEFFECTIVE: the outfield offense(ive)
Edmonds gets a minor free pass here, as he's at least hit with guys on. The other outfielders? Not so much. No rest for the weary (or in this case, sucky)!
NL WEST
Arizona Diamondbacks
INJURED: Russ Ortiz
Hm. Ortiz's injury lets young gun Juan Cruz into the rotation. Wonder if the D-Backs won't mind if the 'ol 6.91 ERA (Lima alert!) takes his time getting back. Of course, Cruz is inconsistent, so maybe they want a consistent (losing) pitcher in the rotation.
INEFFECTIVE: Tony Clark, Orlando Hudson
Hudson's doing his best Rey Ordonez impersonation at second. As for Clark, he was surprisingly good last year - maybe this is his season-long regression to the mean. Or just not too good in platoon duty (on the short end of the stick). Oh, and Shawn Green (warning: NSFW) - well, he is hitting .327, but dig those 3 HR.
Colorado Rockies
INJURED: Yorvit Torrealba and a bunch of guys you don't care about
Well, you probably don't care about ol' Yorvit either. Fair enough.
INEFFECTIVE: Todd Helton
Blame it on whatever he had earlier. I don't know what on earth he had, but even though he says he's healthy, something's obviously wrong. If he can get it going, the Rockies will sorely need his bat to stay near the top of the division. And they need more than just a largely empty .292 average, especially since he normally hits about 30 points higher than that at least.
Los Angeles Dodgers
INJURED: Eric Gagne (le sigh), and a bunch of guys I don't want to type out
Seriously - 8 guys on the DL already? Go Dodgers! Obviously, Gagne is the most needed out of all of them, although some outfield depth couldn't hurt. No clue on timetables here, sorry. I'm on a deadline. Navarro is the least important, as Martin has done well in his absence.
INEFFECTIVE: Jae Seo
Expected to be a sleeper-good candidate, has just slept through the season so far. At least Aaron Sele is around to "push" him.
San Diego Padres
INJURED: Ryan Klesko
2006 charter member of the All-Wally Pipp Team.
INEFFECTIVE: Nobody?
Haven't been paying enough attention - although a Vinny Castilla sighting is enough to make me wonder. It's not like you expect much out of him - just not being Sean Burroughs is enough.
San Francisco Giants
INJURED: Moises Alou, Lance Niekro
Alou should be back to his usual ways soon (make your own joke, I've already made one shit joke today). Honestly, the Giants could use him as protection from Barry Bonds. As for Niekro, he just went on the DL - even though he's been out for a week already. Oh well. Sore shoulder, no timetable, whatever, the usual.
INEFFECTIVE: ESPN's poster boy
Seriously, you can read about him somewhere else. Not that I don't like you guys... but yeah, there's been enough already. Oh, and Pedro Feliz isn't too good (who?).
